If you haven’t heard that Osama Bin Laden has been killed, you need to crawl out of your cave and check your facebook or twitter! As reported this evening, Bin Laden is dead. What no one is reporting is that this has set in motion the final end times events! Justin Taylor isn’t reporting this. Trevin Wax isn’t reporting this. T.C. Robinson isn’t reporting this. Denny Burk isn’t reporting this. I mean, basically none of my favorite bloggers are reporting this! I thought Doug Wilson would have thrown some sort of Post-Millennial perspective, but even he is dropping the ball!
Everyone is missing this huge event! This will, I’m sure of it, set off the rapture. I’m afraid to even type this message because it could happen now… now that Bin Laden is dead!
I would like to just take this time to thank the American military for ensuring that for the next six months we can look forward to several new books put out by John Hagee and any of the other “rapture watchers” that are out there. Thank you, American military, for ensuring that our current Dispensational literature will need to be updated in order to adequetely reflect the latest shift in the eschatological landscape! Words cannot express the deep gratitude that I have for the fact that I can now rest assured that there will be reissues of the Left Behind series that will be edited to include Bin Laden’s death as a sign that we are absolutely in the last days!
So, on behalf of all Christians, thank you, Mr. President, for ensuring that the job got done! I hope you get free copies of the charts and books, because you deserve it. You’ve ushered us into the final of the final of the final of the final stages of the end times! I mean, this time, we’re really close… just check the chart. It’ll prove everything.
To show my appreciation for you, President Obama, I have made the first official “Bin Laden’s Death is the Key to Interpreting the Eschatos Bible Prophecy Chart.” Here it is for you all to enjoy (click to enlarge):
Update: I just realized that not even Parchment and Pen has released this information! Michael Patton, you should be ashamed of yourself! You call yourself a DTS graduate?!?!
Luke is a pastor-theologian living in northern California, serving as a co-lead pastor with his life, Dawn, at the Red Bluff Vineyard. Father of five amazing kids, when Luke isn’t hanging with his family, reading or writing theology, he moonlights as a fly fishing guide for Confluence Outfitters. He blogs regularly at LukeGeraty.com and regularly contributes to his YouTube channel.
Quick Question: Should we be expecting a spike in sales of Dispensational-themed bumper stickers and t-shirts, saying things like “Warning, in case of rapture this vehicle will be unmanned!”?
@ Tyler:
Yes. Yes, you can rest assured you will certainly have the chance to purchase those items. You have to remember that you need to buy them because we have to recoup all the time and energy it took to make a chart like that! HOURS of time. TONS of energy. Etc.
Ok, this is great news! Thank you for being my pastor and letting me know about all of this end time stuff. It is way too over my head to figure it out myself! Please let me know about how long before the end is near, cuz I want to quit my job about two weeks before so I can really see and do everything on my bucket list before it happens. This is such great news!
You do also realize that it is the American troops that defend the right you have to even host this blog. Oh, and I love the Glen Beck like chart. Of course the media (conservative and liberal alike) is going to eat this up. But, they also have that constitutional right.